Here is a piece I wrote in October. A chosen few have been subjected to this diatribe already, therefore you need not be bored again. But I find this second or two in my life to be of vast importance, for a few reasons. One being it was the first thing I have written in a few years and secondly, it was a moment of awakening.
Have I ever told you how much I love Autumn? Have I ever told you how much I view it as one of the most romantic seasons, besides Winter? Most think me mad, opting for the spring and then that other season, summer... neither of which hold much my attention. I do like the rebirth of spring but summer..the sun shines to much and it is way tooooo hot. And so it goes...
I started today as every other weekday. The usual ho hum of getting ready for work. I collected the usual paraphanalia (SP) for the day and went out to my car. I opened the door to my "SHADOW" and positioned myself to enter the black metal machine when out of the corner of my eye, something caught my attention.
I stood there for what seemed like an eternity, but it was mere seconds. I had to get moving, my mind shouted to me. I kept looking at my watch, as if I expected the world to disappear at any given moment. BUT it was just the anal insanity of being to work on time. IF I had had the extra moments, the freedom of being un-shackled to one of life's little tortures, I would have done it. I know I would. The thought crossed my mind, if the neighborhood were awake, if watching, as if they all peer from their windows at 8:30 am, if they perchance would have caught a glimpse of me, they would have thought me mad. She has gone merrily down the path to her second childhood or had she ever left her first? I think on it and am sure the neighborhood finds me entertaining as I am not your average mortal :[ Examples: Black, Halloween, say no more, nudge nudge, a nod is as good as a wink. Blah blah
This day is beautiful. (For those that know me, they will be laughing right now.) I do not say this very often as I love and much prefer the night. The sweet darkness enveloping me in her coolness, her eyes twinkling, the rays of the moon caressing my face.
But I digress (so what else is new, another irony). As I said the morning is grand, probably because the time of year, and overcast days can be most splendid. The shades of silver grey create a magnificent canvas for the rich tones of autumn. A perfect stage for dancing. Yes, I saw them dancing! The colors of autumn, the trees technicolor clothing departing from their brief six month home. They fell effortlessly, spiraling down, twirling, drifting en masse before resting upon the gentle green carpet below. It was a pure moment, the ones that don't happen often enough. WHEN all outside stimuli disappear. No horns, sirens, silence, except for the sound of the gentle wind as it ran its fingers through the tree tops nudging the dancers from their perch. The wonderment was that they did not fall one at a time, no, it was as if they were a collective unit, looking like a funnel, a cornucopia shape, a portal of which one felt they could enter, a crimson shroud. At the moment the dancing commenced I wanted to join. Not once, but twice I began to cross the street, my heart wishing to enjoy the dance. I wanted to feel the leaves kiss my face. I wanted to spin madly in the shower of rusty red leaves cascading from the heavens. My equilbrium faltering so as to lay down amdist the little red rafts floating on the vast green ocean. It would have been a wonderous experience but I let it pass by. I had to leave for work. The dance was over.
Granted there will be more grey days to enjoy, but THIS moment has passed. I watched instead of participating. Don't get me wrong. At times all that is needed is to watch. There is, after all beauty in doing nothing. But next time I will participate, I will not stand on the sidelines. No matter what anyone thinks, I will live life as I wish. For many things have passed me by over the years. I woke this morning, to a brand new world.
© 2000 Debbie Burgess
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